Saturday, May 03, 2008

A cloudy spring

It's been quite a while since I have posted a message. Like over a month.

Things have been busy with readjusting to live back in Utsunomiya after a month away. I missed some big planning meetings while in language study and I still feel like I get hit from time to time with things that I missed from those meetings.

I am adjusting back and getting caught up to speed. But I feel like it has really taken a toll on my heart recently. The busy spring vacation behind me, a busy start to the new semester now, and a big summer ahead leave me feeling low on energy.

Relational I have had some big blows too. My "boss" and friend back in the state just died of cancer. And a good friend of mine here is struggling with depression and has decided to leave the university instead of going to grad school. I have been sad and worried about the depression but now I also have to deal with the fact that I will only rarely, if ever, see this friend during my final time here in Japan.

And personally: My final time here in Japan. I want to make the most of this third year in Japan and I am disappointed by my weaknesses that get in the way. Then add to that the roughly $8,000 that I am still short for this third year and it makes me doubt my ability to stay and "graduate" with my Bible discussion friends.

Weaknesses often stir up lies in my heart and leave me feeling unchangeable in God's hands.

So I am sad and disappointed by this. But the glimmer of hope is also found in this struggle. When weaknesses surface that means they are not hiding and I can turn them over to Jesus and ask Him to replace lies in my life with His Truth.

So I share this gloomy post to let you know where I'm at and to ask you to be praying for my strength to let go of these surfacing lies and draw closer than ever to my God, my King, my Father, and my Friend.

That I would return to doing just what He asked me "Are you willing to TRUST Me for a third year in Japan?"

I want to learn to not only trust him now, but from this current process of trusting Him, to also be able to trust him more in the future.

So there you go, a month of silence broken with a story of sorrow and hope.

Isaiah 33:2

O LORD, be gracious to us;

we long for you.

Be our strength every morning,

our salavation in distress

posted by Keith @ 11:13 PM

2 Comments:

At 6:55 AM, Blogger Colette said...

Thanks for your honesty! Matt and I will be praying for you! Hang in there!

 
At 11:01 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We all have trials in life, and please let me say, as one who spent most my life in trials, you do come out of them better than you could imagine. I will pray for you, may you know that you are amazing and on my mind aswell as in my heart (as is you friend).

 

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